Friday, November 04, 2005
 nine months and three days ago today:
i first kissed her on a monday night. the next day was some made up celebration of something called university day, but it got us out of class until 2pm. so we celebrated like we were supposed to.
she sat on the left side and andrew sat on the right side of the couch. i sat right in the middle where i always sit and theres a nice little dip in the padding. she kept getting up to get more vodka. she really really likes vodka.
we were all watching stern but andrew (who is the brit's roomate, and with whom i share a wall) had a test the next day, so he called it a night before the second episode came on. so her and i got some alone time. and i wanted it and i didnt want it at the same time.
she got up to clean something off of the tv and when she came back she straddled me like the extacy girl from garden state when theyre all playing spin the bottle. she really likes that movie, but she gets mad cuz i tell her shes more like zach braff than natalie portman. i just say natalie portman is a brunette duh.
shes just a twenty one yo sophomore with a lot of scars.
i dont know who leaned first, but i remember seeing her eyes close, her head tilting that one way. i remember stroking her cheek with my thumb and rubbing right underneath her ear and she purred. hollywood coulda made a movie out of that kiss.
and the whole time i thought: i cant do this, i shouldnt do this, why is she doing this? why am i doing this?
wow, shes a great kisser. a really great kisser.
i could get used to this.
and then i built up all my courage and what judgement i had left and i ruined that beautiful moment and said do you really want to do this? she looked up at me and smiled.
for everything thats happened, for all those drunken nights. for all the tears and hugs and makeouts and condoms. for all three of us to be bound together like this with no easy way out.
she still hasnt answered me.
posted by accident at 2:05:00 AM +
 
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