in all the years of my life, i still havent figured out what the best feeling in the world is.

a whole lotta people try to tell me, try to enlighten me. i try to listen to them cuz theyve lived a great deal more life than myself.

my sister says its love.

my female best friend says its love too.

my male best friends says its the heaven between her legs.

my mom says its success. and growing old and wise

i think theyre all wrong.

i dont really have anything to dispute them with. chances are one of them is right about something. maybe its her heaven when you are really old and you really love her. or are in love with her. i could never tell the difference.

but tonight, oh tonight, this fated tuesday night. humid and sweaty, the gods all got in a row and agreed that tonight was gonna be the night.

but first a preface. i believe in fate, but i believe that we control fate. sort of like the watchmaker theory of God, in that he only sets our lives in motion, tinkers here and there to make things work correctly, and pretty much lets things run their course.

i believe fate is more like a used car salesman. he will embrace you, butter you up, hand you a whole bunch of sets of keys, and even let you drive a car or two. but its up to you to choose which car you want. which car you want to pay money to hang around with. which car you want to go home with.

tonight i saw jennifer aniston, my boss at the dealership, at the tuesday night spot and it was completely and totally unexpected. what happened next wasnt as unexpected, but surprising none the less.

she told me

to my face

only a little bit drunk

that she wished i never got hired at the dealership.

i almost just walked away. instead i gave her the look of the devil and asked her why she would even think such a thing.

pinky swear you wont tell anybody at work?

umm sure. is it that important?

important enough to get us both fired.

well neither of us want that so you better tell me.

dramatic pause.

its because im attracted to you.

...

in all the years of my life, i was never sure what the best feeling in the world was.

after tonight, i think i have a better idea.

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