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you have been the one, you have been the one for me


Saturday, April 09, 2005

i couldnt sleep last night. after the beer wore off i kept sitting up in my bed every twenty or thirty minutes or so. four am, then six am then seven. the sun came out and didnt care that i just wanted to sleep and forget about what paris said to me last night. the sun slapped me in the face and grabbed me by the shoulders and shook me. wake your lazy ass up you punk ass bitch youre hung up on some stupid slutofagirl in a place where beautiful women flow like wine. whatthefuck is your problem.

ok fine.

whenever i stand at the bus stop, it seems like its the dreariest place in the world. like no one sitting on the benches or standing on the porch of the union has any reason to smile anymore. everyday i tell myself that i would never get to that point, that point where nothing as any meaning and theres no reason in your life to be happy. i told myself that i had too many things in my life to be happy about to every get to that point.

i was at that point last night.

it started well over dinner and dessert. she said she would miss him greatly, but she wanted turkish to go home. she said she was sick and tired of being sick and tired of all of this drama.

and then she dropped the bomb.

and then another one. and another.

why cant we just hang out? why is hooking up so important to you? why do you hook up with my friends?

for a moment i was blind. who are you, i thought. why are you doing this, i thought. what do you mean, i said. but it was too late. she slowly slipped away from me more and more and more until i was sick in my heart and at the end of the night she went home with turkish, again.

and i stood alone in the rain.

again.

posted by accident at 11:35:00 AM +