volume 2

you have been the one, you have been the one for me

Wednesday, January 19, 2005

when i die, i only ask that they bury me upside down, so that my critics can kiss my ass.

lord knows there are a bunch of ways to go, but what people tend to forget is that one has little control of what their own legacy is after they go. no one in heaven is allowed to write their autobiography. not even ashlee simpson.

jerry orbach anchored a venerable television institution, law and order. he is the face of the crime drama genre.

ronald reagan acted in a bunch of movies. he paved the way for actor-turned-governors like ahnahld and jesse ventura. oh, and he was president of the united states, or something like that.

but the one figure who's life was prolific beyond belief, yet who's legend is slightly less than shimmering, is edgar allan poe.

the most widely regarded and infamous obituary of one of literature's most influencial and prominent writers chops him down unmercifully.

yes, he was found semi-comatose in a gutter near Balitmore.

yes, he was delirious and basically in a 36-hour seizure before he died.

but those who are in the know still revere him.

he wrote beautiful lies about love, and horrifying tales about everything else.

and even professional wrestlers know "quoth the raven, nevermore."

if you are one of the greatest writers in the history of the english language, and nobody of your time likes you, do you ever really die?

the tell-tale heart scared the shit outta me when we had to read it in class.

last time i checked, no one teaches rufus griswald's anthologies in grade schools. no one.

and high school kids don't know what the hell a gipper is.

so give me a bottle of cognac on my grave over a flag and a big hoopla any day.

life's a bitch, and then you die.

thats why we get high.

cuz you never know when you're gonna poe.

posted by accident at 1:19:00 PM +

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