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you have been the one, you have been the one for me


Monday, July 19, 2004

Today's post is a very important post in the history of this blog and of blogs everywhere. The information I am about to release will change the way you think about life, about art, about everything. It's kinda like Michael Moore meets Quentin Tarantino, after they've gotten really drunk and smoked a lot of weed together.

Ok boys and girls, enough pussy-footing around, I'll just cut straight to the chase: You've all been had. I made everything up. Everything. There, I said it. Welcome to The Fake World.

None of the events described within these pages is real. Hell, even these "pages" are nothing more than a bunch of ones and zeros, existing only on/in some doohickey they call "The Internet."

No, the brunette chick at work with the big tits has never hit on me. No, I wasn't in the car when it was pulled over by bored cops on the prowl to racially profile some non-white kids. No, I didn't drag my excessively inebriated friend all over Chapel Hill trying to get him home. No, I've never written an award winning short story. It's all just a figment of my imagination.

Oh, but the rabbit hole goes deeper. I made up the town of Chapel Hill. It doesn't really exist, except in my stories. I don't work at a place called Dick's, because it doesn't exist either. I'm actually not even human. I am simply an automated computer program that randomly spits out the fictitious anecdotes of what would resemble the life of a twenty-something college kid.

My sincerest condolences go out to everyone who might be the slightest bit disappointed by this surprising revelation. I am aware that most of you read and enjoyed these stories in the spirit that they were the tales of a living homo-sapien, but that is simply not the case. I, AutoBlog 2000, pledge to continue to provide humorous, yet totally fictional stories for those who would still enjoy them. Thank you for reading, and enjoy your evening.



posted by accident at 1:14:00 AM +