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you have been the one, you have been the one for me


Monday, May 17, 2004

Last Saturday, I took a trip down to Kinston, North Carolina with various friends from hockey and high school. A couple of our other friends had an apartment there, so we went for a weekend visit. Kinston is about 20 minutes outside of Greenville, which is home to ECU and Dave Mirra. Anyone one from this area will tell you that there is very little to do in Kinston, and after making it down there, I found no evidence to the contrary. Apparently, all people do to entertain themselves in Kinston is drink beer and fly planes, although not necessarily in that order. Oh, and they drink beer cuz the ABC stores close at 7 in Kinston. Yeah, it's like that.

Basically, the night went like this: we grilled out with some hamburgers and turkey dogs (for the health-conscious), a bunch of people showed up, we drank a lot of beer, and we went to bed. But, as always, there were some important life lessons to be learned from such a night. Here are a few snippets:

-Women like to get their toes sucked. They will even wash their feet just so you will suck on them.
-Opening a beer bottle with your teeth is only a cool party trick if you don't chip a tooth.
-By far, the coolest tattoo I have ever seen on a female: A lengthwise-folded $20 bill on the side of the hip going perpendicularly across the panty line. (If you need me to explain why this is so cool, you're an idiot.)
-If someone yells "Cops!" at a party, make sure there are actually cops in the building before you freak and pour out your beer. (Side note: Pretending to be cops when you show up to a party is not cool.)
-Girls Gone Wild is perfect viewing material for any type of social situation involving beer.
-When playing asshole, make sure the asshole is dealing herself into the hand, or else you won't have an asshole to pick on.
-Everyone knows the words to "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D.
-Up to five people can sleep on one king-sized bed.

Although Kinston sounds like a pretty lame place, I had a good time. It was actually the first time I had gotten drunk with almost all of the people that were there, so I guess it counts as one of those adolescent milestones. They actually have a Bojangle's in Kinston, so eating there the morning after made it a complete and eventful weekend.

posted by accident at 10:36:00 PM +