here on the east coast, there was a full moon last night.

and here in chapel hill, it was the clearest night in a week, so the moon looked even bigger and brighter than usual.

it made the drunk frat boys walking home on franklin street sing its amore! at the top of their lungs.

even though none of them were italian.

the old people leaving dinner from the nice restaurants looked like visitors at a zoo where all the cages have been opened.

the high school skanks walking aimlessly up and down the street past their bedtimes looked at the frat boys and laugh.

one of them stopped.

and they chatted.

and then she walked home.

with him.

i was very close to being intoxicated, but she couldnt have been older than fifteen.

yeah, around here, theyre just sleazy like that.

the frat boys are, too.

michael jordan was in town, it was rumored. i heard through the grapevine that he had eaten dinner at top of the world on monday night with about five buddies. and yes, he still is the king of chapel hill.

the rumor mill went on to proudly boast that His Airness would make an appearance at the tuesday night watering hole because he did it last year and he was cool.

the bar in question used to be called the village green. it mainly consists of a large, open courtyard area with picnic tables, and the actual bar was located upstairs in a two story building near the back with a big deck. on tuesday nights, the special is $2 blue cups, which are a full 36 fluid ounces each and are highly collectible. at the end of the night, blue cup pyramids and towering columns are all over the place. its fun spot.

MJ in his years at the university would frequent the spot. being the living legend that he was, all the groupie love would follow him around after hours all over chapel hill. however, instead of following the entourage of large black men, the hos would just call ahead. legend has it that the owner and employees of the bar were so tired of saying the same thing to the callers that they just changed the name of the place to He's Not Here to save themselves the breath.

guess what boys and girls? the greatest basketball player of all time didnt show.

but of course everyone in chapel hill between the ages of 21 and 41 did.

what a surprise.

there were a few old guys in attendence. if their grey hairs didnt give them away, the tshirts tucked into shorts and the fanny packs did. funny thing was, they werent all in one big group, but came in singles or pairs, like they were on the prowl for some hot summer school college coed booty.

those guys alone were worth the price of admission.

and when paris called, drunk on champagne in wilmington for her friends birthday, i told her all of this and she laughed.

i coulda told you he wasnt gonna be there.

oh shush you.

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